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Monday, October 21, 2013

Attack of the crawlies... (part 1)

I'm a very independent and self-sufficient girl. BUT there is one thing that can leave me whimpering in the corner like a little girl...crawlies (insects for those not familiar with the term).


This past weekend saw me having to face a crawly, and it turned into quite the experience. Okay, so maybe it wasn't all that bad, but for me it felt like a massive thing. Saturday night, while watching TV (this was around 11:30pm) I see this massive cricket (at this point I didn't know what I was dealing with) jump onto one of my cubes in the lounge.

Within a space of 3 seconds, I got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, my skin felt like it was crawling all over, I ran to the kitchen (have an open plan) screaming like a little girl and jumped onto the kitchen counter. My heart was still racing as I realised I was still screaming. My poor neighbours must have thought that I was busy with some very weird little sex game that time of night...and I did notice the one neighbour (old guy) giving me the evil eye yesterday when I bumped into him outside my place. I just smiled, waved and pretended to be miss little innocent, because what else are you supposed to do. There is no explaining away something like that..

After what seemed HOURS on my kitchen counter I decided that it's too late to phone one of my brother-in-laws to come and save me. The possibility that they would get very upset with me for waking them up that time of the night to come and kill a bug at my place, and keeping in mind they are both about half an hour's drive away from me, was big. I know they love me, but I don't see the love running that deep...

I'm not a very domestic type of girl. I don't really clean my own place or do my own laundry or anything along those lines. I have a maid and I drop my clothes off at a laundry to get washed and ironed. So I have no idea what chemicals I have in the house, needles to say if there would be any "bug spray" to annihilate my late night intruder with. *I still get shivers down my spine just thinking about that thing.....eeeuuuuuuuwwwww*

I decided that staying on my kitchen counter the whole night would be a bit uncomfortable and calling in back-up was a bit unlikely. I would have to put on my big girl panties and just deal with it. *Why does it have to be big girl panties? Why can't it be sexy, black lingerie....that is so much more empowering than big girl panties...I digress*

I then remembered an incident a couple of years ago where my sister took some Tupperware and very quickly placed it over a spider. That way not killing it, but catching it. Brilliant, I had a plan. However at the time I wasn't thinking this thing ahead. In order to place, or in my case throw the Tupperware and hope it stays, over the crawly I would actually have to get into touching distance of it. Did I mention that this thing jumps????

Bravely dressed in my nighties, with Tupperware in one hand and expensive Nine West Stiletto in the other, I sneaked around the couch towards the scene of the crime. It was with shock and horror that I came face to face with my nemesis and realised this thing is bigger than I remembered. *I'm actually getting goosebumps while typing this...still so grossed out*. It was staring at me, and I swear that thing had this statistical little grin on it's face, thinking "This is going to be a walk in the park".

I silently shed a little tear for my stiletto (in case things turned violent and I had to start smacking away with my shoe) and aimed the Tupperware at IT. I threw the Tupperware and unfortunately, as one would expect the thing jumped (I think IT trained with Spiderman in a previous life, that thing could move!!) onto the curtain and my Tupperware was on the other side of the cube.

With heart racing and realising my game plan is now known to IT, I had to move fast. Still crying and softly whimpering out of pure disgust I grabbed the Tupperware and smashed it over IT on the curtain. IT was now firmly caught between my Tupperware and the curtain pressed against the sliding door....


AND this is where I need to end part 1 because I need to run and will finish the rest of the story tomorrow ;)



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